This is likely in addition to a million of other fucked up reasons why I am struggling to live life and smile. Fuck that. Not even smile. Like, not look dead inside because it is how I feel. Just so MEH. Like I'm moving through the movements of being an informed, impassioned leader, but honestly IDGAF.
About anything.
Ever.
I just want to cook and feed people, and read books, and have enough money for alcohol. WHY DON'T I EVER HAVE MONEY FOR FUCKING BEER.
I digress.
In light of the 239 drafts that I have, I've committed to updating this one. Just posting at least ONE of these fuckers. So here's something I LITERALLY started in April when I moved here....
Chicago and Seattle are, like, diff'errnt.
Let's review.
Population
Chicago: roughly 9 million in the metro area
Seattle: roughly 3 million in the metro area. 2.8% growth in 2013 increased last year (not sure how much since 2014, but rent is climbing and everyone has to move out and the homeless population one-night count increased 21% from 2014 to 2015. SO. FUCK.
Landscape
Chicago: flat and sprawling. lots of baby parks with a few ginormous ones. lots of cement. more marketed products, billboards, signage created by corporations (corporate branding).
Seattle: hilly, lots of lakes, trees everywhere. lots of parks and beaches. more art-created marketing for ads and signs (like an artist actually made them) and not as many billboards
Chicago: Lake Michigan
(I looked for a gif of Chicago stuff, but they were all flashy and gave me seizures)
Seattle: Puget Sound
Chicago: surrounded by farm fields (aka, 90% of the state that isn't Chicago or Springfield)
Seattle: surrounded by other suburbs that spread for EVER and then it's mountains and waterfalls and hills and mountains and islands and the ocean.
Racial Demographic
Chicago:
Chicago's racial makeup in 2010. (Each dot represents 25 people - red dots are Whites, blue dots are Blacks, green is Asian, orange is Hispanic, gray is other).
Seattle:
I don't know if you can see this shit, but let me break it down. White north, black south, poor white and brown to the west. Sound familiar? You can replace "white" with "has money" and do the same layout. Also, there's a rich fringe on the shoreline because RICH PEOPLE LOVE BOATS.
Also, if you're anywhere around AMI (AMI=area median income), you're fucking lucky because the only people I know who make AMI are at least 15 years into his/her career. (For one person in Seattle, this is $57,625.)
And living on your own! Fahggedaboutit. I can't afford to live my standard of life on my income, and I'm around 90% AMI!
Here's the limits.
I pay $1200/month for a centrally located studio. Granted, with lots of amenities (no A/C but washer, dryer, dishwasher, gym, elevator, etc), but forget about enjoying those beers I want bc all my money goes to rent, student loans, and food. If only pasta wasn't so cheap, I might be skinny. (Note to self: buy more salad!)
Sports
Chicago: Da Sox (I refuse to mention that "other" team), Da (Black)Hawks, Da Bears, Da Fire, Da Bulls
Seattle: The Mariners, The Thunderbirds (not NHL), The (Sea)Hawks, The Sounders, and there's no basketball because OMG EVERYONE IS STILL WHINING ABOUT THE SONICS LEAVING DON'T EVEN BRING IT UP.
Crime
Chicago: 425 murders in 2014 (http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/2014-chicago-murders/explore-data)
Seattle: 26. IN THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR. (http://www.seattle.gov/police/crime/stats.htm) http://www.city-data.com/crime/crime-Seattle-Washington.html
It should be noted that Seattle covers less land mass than Chicago, and that neighboring towns that might be captured in Chicago's count (based on distance from city center) would increase the # of murders in Seattle. Also, this is just murder. I didn't capture any information about robbery or other assaults, but I have a feeling the #s are pretty on par here. I love it when only one person at a dinner party of 9 has ever been mugged.
Weather
Chicago: There are seasons. And LOTS of snow. People talk about the seasons occurring all in the same day. Which is funny because....
Seattle: It goes through seasons every few hours. And when it snows >1", the city shuts down because cars can't be on the slippery roads/hills.
Walking culture
Chicago: walks a lot, bundles up. understands economy of motion. walks behind cars to jay walk. tourists walk slow, and that's usually in the loop.
Seattle: walks a lot EVERYWHERE despite the mountains they call "hills" as normal streets here, and everyone is slow as fuck. they have no idea how to use the flow of traffic to cross BEHIND cars. jay walkers are scorned, and all traffic will stop for them. because everyone is fakely polite here.
Biking
Chicago: bike lanes, bikers scream at cars, cars run over bikers. only half the people where helmets.
Seattle: every biker takes up the whole lane even if there are bike lanes, everyone wears bright ass yellow everything. everyone wears 15 helmets.
Traffic
Chicago: takes 45 mins to go 3 miles because everyone's on the road and pushing their way past the major car wreck and you can't squeeze into merge.
Seattle: takes 45 mins to go 3 miles because everyone's gawking at the major car wreck and letting other cars in. BECAUSE FAKE NICE.
Parking
Chicago: parking is hard to find in certain areas and a few blocks is nothing. Love taps are how you show you are an amazing parallel parker.
Seattle: parking is really hard to find BECAUSE EVERYONE PARKS FOUR FEET APART FROM THE CAR IN FRONT OF AND BEHIND THEM. Love taps will get someone coming out of their house and yelling at you to leave a note that you "hit" the car behind you. LOVE TAPS ARE HOW CARS SHOW THEIR AFFECTION FOR EACH OTHER.
(It goes without saying, but I'm saying it anyway, I AM A PARALLEL PARKING QUEEN.)
(It goes without saying, but I'm saying it anyway, I AM A PARALLEL PARKING QUEEN.)
Crosswalks
Chicago: Ewwww. Gross. No one bothers to hit the button, and if they do, it's with an elbow. Someone probably pissed on it.
Seattle: MUST HIT BUTTON THRICE!!!! (Everyone has a preferred # of taps here.) They touch it with their hands in the most aggressive-aggressive manner. It is the only time I see people be angry here.
Restaurants
Chicago: Servers try to be nice to get your money.
Seattle: Servers don't really care if you're there or not. Every single place I've ever been has vegan, gluten-free options. Aka, water.
Bathroom facilities in public places
Chicago: There are some in government buildings, parks, businesses, etc.
Seattle: Good luck finding one. Better look for a McDonald's and be able to buy something so you can get the code for the door. There was a code for the one at Target. I went in, and a woman was coaching another woman on how they were going to run this dude for his money. They were also showering in the sink.
I don't say this to belittle them, it's just an example of stuff I didn't ever see in Chicago. Maybe I didn't look hard enough? Maybe I wasn't downtown enough?
I don't say this to belittle them, it's just an example of stuff I didn't ever see in Chicago. Maybe I didn't look hard enough? Maybe I wasn't downtown enough?
Homeless population
Chicago: Lots of homeless with mental health and substance abuse (alcohol) issues. Lots of homeless in Chicago have access to emergency shelters, shack up under bridges, or under overpasses and in doorways and alcoves.
Seattle: Lots of homeless with severe mental health and substance abuse (meth) issues. Due to the insane number of big bridges here, lots of them seem to be heavily fortressed. There are tent cities since there aren't enough brick and mortar shelters and more and more people are being pushed out of their houses. Basically what I'm trying to say is that the homeless population here is far more visible and more visibly in need. In Chicago, the range was wider. Here it's like there's so much goddamn money, NO middle class, and then homeless people.
(See also, why I work at an agency that offers services to people living on low incomes, including housing, food and hunger relief, financial stabilization services and programs, transportation, and also we do advocacy....I could go on and on about my job, but just save me some time and read this website...mmmmmmkay?.)
Cost of living
Chicago: Affordability is a thing! I had a MASSIVE apartment in Rogers Park for $900/month. With Central Air! And a dishwasher!
Seattle: Okay, maybe Rogers Park is the equivalent of Olympic Hills and Evanston is Shoreline. They both are near malls, I think. And both have divided racial populations. Yeah. And where I live is not really comparable to Chicago.
A few blocks away is the hipster Division Street-Bucktown equivalent, and my current neighborhood is sort of like Uptown/Ravenswood. Like, not all that great, but people here call it "hood" which makes me laugh sooooooooo uncontrollably.
Dating
Chicago: Fuck that city and all the people I ever dated in it.
Seattle: Fuck this city and all the people in it because I never ever ever want to date again.
I tried dating a guy for a few months. That was laughable. I've never wanted to be in a relationship less. What was I thinking? Within 12 days he wanted to lock this down and after 4 months of me not committing, I was like, fuck this. I'm out. Of everything.
I checked out Tinder, but it just feels weird.
AND OMIGOD THE POLY PEOPLE ARE ERRRRRYWHERE.
I live above a grocery store, and a vet, and a nail salon. I'm about 2 blocks from a pot shop, within 1 block of two bars, 2 blocks from a GREAT bar, and 2 blocks from a majorly great beer place with about 70 taps.
I have a little porch that is filled with green things. My apartment is warm and inviting and perfectly my style. Though I'm dying for these animal planters.
But that barely matters because I'm never there. Says the girl at the office at 8PM. On a Monday. Because I took the weekend "off."
More later. Enjoy that shit about Seattle.
PEACEHOMEFRIES.
(See also, why I work at an agency that offers services to people living on low incomes, including housing, food and hunger relief, financial stabilization services and programs, transportation, and also we do advocacy....I could go on and on about my job, but just save me some time and read this website...mmmmmmkay?.)
Cost of living
Chicago: Affordability is a thing! I had a MASSIVE apartment in Rogers Park for $900/month. With Central Air! And a dishwasher!
Seattle: Okay, maybe Rogers Park is the equivalent of Olympic Hills and Evanston is Shoreline. They both are near malls, I think. And both have divided racial populations. Yeah. And where I live is not really comparable to Chicago.
A few blocks away is the hipster Division Street-Bucktown equivalent, and my current neighborhood is sort of like Uptown/Ravenswood. Like, not all that great, but people here call it "hood" which makes me laugh sooooooooo uncontrollably.
Dating
Chicago: Fuck that city and all the people I ever dated in it.
Seattle: Fuck this city and all the people in it because I never ever ever want to date again.
I tried dating a guy for a few months. That was laughable. I've never wanted to be in a relationship less. What was I thinking? Within 12 days he wanted to lock this down and after 4 months of me not committing, I was like, fuck this. I'm out. Of everything.
I checked out Tinder, but it just feels weird.
AND OMIGOD THE POLY PEOPLE ARE ERRRRRYWHERE.
I live above a grocery store, and a vet, and a nail salon. I'm about 2 blocks from a pot shop, within 1 block of two bars, 2 blocks from a GREAT bar, and 2 blocks from a majorly great beer place with about 70 taps.
I have a little porch that is filled with green things. My apartment is warm and inviting and perfectly my style. Though I'm dying for these animal planters.
But that barely matters because I'm never there. Says the girl at the office at 8PM. On a Monday. Because I took the weekend "off."
More later. Enjoy that shit about Seattle.
PEACEHOMEFRIES.
