It was bright and sunlight shone through the windows into the rich wood and buttercream walled space. There was a training room in the back of the basement or second floor. I couldn't tell--it kept flipping floors.
So I kept drinking coffee after coffee but kept falling asleep on the couch where a group of my colleagues were gathering. I was ordering drip coffee and switched to lattes and then I got full.
I went to the basement to use the bathroom (?) and there were 3 separate bathrooms and none of the doors were locked, so I kept walking in on people sitting on the toilet and being embarrassed. So, I waited until someone came out, and I went into one. A woman walked in bc the lock on the plastic accordion door didn't work. I remember thinking how the door didn't match the style of the space.
I met some woman in the bathroom and then went outside (?) where I saw a man running away with what I thought was my TJ's bag with my wallet in it. My colleagues and I chased him down, and he kept coughing. They were mad at him and wanted me to call the cops on him, but I didn't. I wanted to talk to him. I tried to bargain with him to make up the fact he stole my bag (which wasn't actually my bag after all.) He was very sick. I made him go back to the coffee shop where I could investigate the bag. He was an attractive young 20s man, but was very sick. I told him that he had to stop acting like he was or his cirrhosis was going to get worse. I made it my mission to convince him to get better.
My friends left me to talk with him in the basement gathering area of the two story house-style coffee shop. I spent time talking with him and his friends. He didn't seem interested in helping himself, but after many hours of chatting and listening, he agreed to stop stealing and acting up and to take care of himself.
Then looked over at the other couch where my ex Jeremy from my freshman year of college was. I was taken aback and overcome with happiness that he stumbled into the coffee shop, and I went and sat on his lap and hugged him. I said how worried I was that I couldn't find anything about him online and how happy I was that he was doing well. I wanted to care for him and just kept hugging him and was happy that he was okay.
Someone mentioned that the carpet in the basement felt like there was a hole underneath. We tore up a piece of the carpet and realized that there was a false floating floor and that the true floor was far below and, if opened up, could give another 5 feet of headroom in the basement. The owners said that they were selling the place because they couldn't afford to keep it open anymore. There was a leak and cracks in the foundation, and they had to rent out the back rooms for trainings to make money since the cost of WIFI and coffees weren't covering the costs for everything.
I thought about what I would do if I bought the coffee house. Just then, the back room opened up, and the training was over. My colleagues came out and said they were worried about me. They said I missed the training. I tried to start copying the words on the wall post-its but it was obvious I missed everything. Then my boss/CEO said I'd have to pay back the money to the agency I worked for for wasting their $, that I'd have to take PTO and then sign up for the training again and pay with my own money. I said fine and how much. They said, "$250. Times two." I gulped and said that was fine.
Then I thought more about buying the coffee shop and starting my own business as such. Just then, Jeremy got up and had to leave for the night. We went outside and said goodbye. He was studying at the local college. I rode the light rail down a road that curved and showed me the most beautiful Hogwarts-style college that had its doors shuttered due to the zombie apocalypse and that the schools were all closing their doors.
And then I woke up drenched in night sweats.
So...from this:
I am not connected to my job. I am wasting their time and money and my own.
I want to help broken men who don't want to help themselves.
I can't get over the past and I find myself still deeply emotionally connected to men from my past. No matter where they are now.
I want to branch out on my own.
I see beauty where others see broken-ness.
My education is beautiful but empty.
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