THE BET (aka, GIMME ALL YOUR MONIES IN EXCHANGE FOR MY TORTURE)

A few weeks ago, I went to NYC to see my beloved bestie Mr. Tyler Lee Roberts (on the left), Ashley Engleman (on the right), Ms. Kels le Kels (Kellie Allen), and my sister and nephew (not pictured either.)

One day, Tyler and I were chatting about the triathlon, our weight, vices, health, lack thereof, etc. If you know me, I love cheese. I love it so much, my mom used to call me her little mouse when I was little. 

Jerry and I cut from the same cloth.

That was back when I was 100 lbs dripping wet, could eat string cheese like there was no tomorrow, and easily wash a bag of Oreo's down with three glasses of milk, sneeze the next day, and magically none of the calories stuck to me. 

I'm the BEST wingwoman cheese has ever had. If there's cheese at a party, I'm there by its side.

ALL.

THROUGH.

THE. 

NIGHT.

Fast-forward 20 years. I struggle with my weight. After hitting 30, my metabolism seems to have slowed to that of a turtle in molasses in winter.

DID SOMEONE SAY TURTLES?!?!?!

Now we can just call me...er... "fluffy." Tyler thinks I'd feel a ton better without cheese. He said, "How long do you think you can go without cheese?" I said, "Maybe a few days?" He said, "What about dairy?" I said, "Maybe one day?" 

If you think I'm lying, this is my meal "plan" for the past 24 hours (granted, I am carboloading for a half marathon tomorrow). I've highlighted the dairy to help you figure out what the main component of my meals is:

Dinner: a box o' Kraft Mac'n'Cheese + 1/4 cup herbed feta. Yeah, you read that right. A BOX.

Breakfast: a monster cinnamon raisin bagel and + 4 Tbsp Philadelphia Honey Nut cream cheese + 1 Venti iced coffee with skim milk and 2 Splenda (I know, cancer, blah blah blah)

Lunch: 1/2 a Kuma's Cheeseburger + a 16-oz container of Dean's 4% Cottage Cheese + 1 single-serving of applesauce.

I think maybe Tyler speaketh the truth about me having a dairy issue....

So, thus we came to The Bet. One week without our #1 personal food vice. For Tyler, he can't have carbs. (No, I'm not the devil...he agreed to this. Yes, he can have veggie-carbs, but no bread carbs or potato carbs. This means no beer either, but yes wine, yes cider.) For me, this means no dairy. No milk, no cheese, no ice cream, no milk, no lifeblood for me.

BUT DAIRY IS MY GOD.

We're going to start with a week. Seven days. Not too long, but I thought I'd make a little bet out of this. If you love me and want me to be skinny or if you hate me and want to make me suffer, how much would one day of suffering be worth to you? I'd say about $10 to me. 

SO, here's the sitch.....for every $10 donated to my T2EA Fundraising Page between today and Monday, I will resist eating dairy for another day. 

That means, if I get another $100, that's TEN MORE DAYS WITHOUT DAIRY. TEN DAYS. TENNNNNNNNNNDAAAAAAAAAAAYS. 

If I raise $200, that's 20 days. Oh, jeeshus. I'm getting light-headed thinking about it....

And so on and so forth....until I die or you stop donating.

So, if you can and have the means, make me suffer, give money to a great cause, and spread the word and help me get the rest of the way to my $2000 goal!